One night during the winter of my sophmore year in high school I was hanging out at a friend's house. We were doing our usual thing where we sat around and talked about boys and school and whatever other gossip. We noticed that my friend's neighbor was having a party, and as he was a year or two older than us (I really can't remember) we thought it would be fun to be invited. It is too bad we didn't really know him at all, so all we could do was joke about it.
Amidst all this joking my friends dared me to go over and ask why I wasn't invited. Well I wasn't about to do that looking like myself, even if they had no idea who I was. So I donned a sun hat, some ski goggles that had reflective fish on them, and a coat from my friends closet. I made my way over to the house and knocked on the door. The neighbor opened the door and by him were two of his guy friends. I was all nervous so I blurt out, "Why wasn't I invited?" Only, the voice I used wasn't my regular voice. It was a deep, slow semi-handicapped imitation. Well they shut the door in my face and I figured, that's that. Until I turned around.
There were two girls who witnessed the whole thing. Well I couldn't have them knowing I wasn't handicapped so I make a cry like I am upset (in my deep, handicapped throat) and run off. I planned on running across the street through the fence to my other friend's house, but when I got to the fence it was locked. I look back and see the three guys and the two girls running after me, so I try and run through the snow to the next fence. But the snow is so deep that I trip trying to run fast and go face first into the snow. I am sure this only ads to my 'handicapped' visage. They are catching up to me obviously, as I am face down in the snow, so I get up and try to run off again, and I trip again. Wham! Face first, second time. So now I am thinking, maybe I really am handicapped?
I get out of the snow and head to the street but they are nearly caught up to me and I am out of ideas. I can't go back to my friend's house because then they will know it was all a joke, and I am not sure if I want them to know who I am yet, so I just head down the road. They chase after me and one of them yells to me, "I'll give you a dollar if you come back," and I think to myself, "Alright. I could use a dollar." Actually, I thought, "Oh no, they are right behind me! What do I do?" So I stop but I don't turn around. I let them come to me and while I try to figure out what I am going to do.
They reach me and nothing. I have no ideas.
"So what's your name?"
"Mary," I answer back - everything I answer them is in a deep, slightly stilted, handicapped tone.
"Where are you running to?" "What are you doing here?" "Who told you about the party?"
"Why wasn't I invited?" "Cousin. I'm staying with a cousing, my cousin." "She told me you had a party and I wasn't invited. Why wasn't I invited?" - My slow responses and stuttering probably add to the effect of me being mentally disabled, but really I am grasping at straws trying to come up with answers.
"Where are you running to?"
"My cousin and her house." (who I just chose a friend I knew lived down the road I happened to now be walking down)
"How old are you?"
"Sixteen."
"Can you drive?" "Why did you walk here"
"My mom said I can't drive. She said it is too dangerous. So she won't let me get a license. And I really want a license, but she won't let me have one. Because, she said it's too dangerous. People are bad drivers. But I won't be. I'm a good driver, I'll be a good driver."
"Why do you wear those goggles?"
"They protect my face because there are bad things. Bad things outside that can hurt my eyes. So my goggles help me be protected. And they have fishes on them. I like fish, the fishes on them."
"Can you take off your hat?"
"No! It's my mom's. She let me wear it, have it. No, I can't take it off because then I'll lose it and mom said, 'Don't take it off because then you'll lose it,' so I can't take it off."
They proceeded to ask me many questions and I was getting really nervous because one kid kept saying, "Dude, my sister works with handicapped kids and she is SO not handicapped." He was right of course, but it seemed a little too late to come clean, so I ignored him and kept answering the other kids' questions. Those poor two girls were so concerned because they had seen the boys slam the door in my face earlier and now I was being harassed by them and why couldn't they just leave me alone. I thought they were so sweet, and they were so willing to stand up for me, but the boys were baffled as to why I would just show up at their party so they kept quizzing me.
Eventually the boys and girls got into an argument over whether or not I was actually handicapped and they should just leave me alone, and I missed most of it because I took off running back to my friends house. I ran into the house and ripped off the hat and goggles and tried to find my friends to tell them everything that had happened to me and they weren't there. About twenty seconds later the boys run in the house and see me without the hat and goggles and I say, "Hi," in my normal voice. The boy in front exclaims, "I knew it!" throws his hands up in the air, and busts out laughing.
We have a good chat over it all and eventually my friends come back to tell me they had been following me when they realized I wasn't coming back (after they saw me fall in the snow and the boys running after me they sneaked out and had to follow the group of us without getting caught).
